being nice and feeling sweet is a fake happiness.
a healthy diet is not based on honey or sugar.
when i act this way it is to avoid reality, to avoid real life.
it is distraction and not authentic.
it's a way of holding on and hoarding all the stuff i don't want to feel.
it is a way of controlling myself and the people around me. it pushes down and denies life.
my anger builds and is stored in this way. hidden anger that is revealed in violent outbursts.
my criticism of others is evidence of this denied anger.
being real is being present to my feelings and others feelings without judgment.
it seems brave and daring to me, but that's because i believe that i fear feelings and judgments.
Yogi Bhajan - "be direct, innocent, and graceful."
