compassion is the strongest force i know  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

no matter how hurtful. no matter how mean. no matter how wrong. no matter how selfish. no matter how rude. no matter how critical. no matter how judgmental. no matter how disgusting. no matter how horrible a person may be, and no matter how much they've hurt me. there's a being inside of them that is perfect and innocent and pure light. to this being an infinite force like a shaft of electricity burns effortlessly through my hurt and anger, through my selfishness, through my pettiness. the infinite force of love burns through the suffering of all creatures. it is the fabric, the only fabric, infinite, of infinite colors.

forgiveness is like gifts left floating in the wake of god's course.

giving is not a sacrifice  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

there is a clear line that differentiates a loving person from a narcissistic person. its only unclear to and misunderstood by the narcissist.

when a loving person gives, it fills them up. when a narcissist gives, they feel as if something is given up. and if they continue to give, they will feel resentment.

the loving person will see the needs of another as an opportunity to love. the narcissist will feel controlled by the real and/or perceived needs of another.

selfish/critical/heartless vs empathy/compassion/nurture

the best advice  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

meggan said to me today, "a step forward is usually a step in the right direction."

narcissists need to be in control  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

narcissists have trouble with empathy and compassion. they dont see beyond themselves.

logic is not a property of the mind  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

why would you try so hard to hold on to something lousy when you could have something great?

the only truth is love  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

"love is the ultimate state of human behavior where compassion prevails and kindness rules." - Yogi Bhajan
hurt blocks love

my 2nd intensive (focus on the internal self)  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

today begins a 40-day intensive.

links to my new blogs:

my daily yoga journal
my daily process coaching journal
my daily friendship journal
my daily study journal
my daily distinctions journal
my daily emotions journal

40 days & 40 nights:
5am-7am - morning sadhana - my personal yoga time to focus on single asanas, work out alignments, develop sets, chant, meditate, etc (done with intention)
8am-12pm - yoga practice - pilates/hatha/kundalini/pranayama(rudra flow 3days/week)
1/2 hour - evening giving to friends/being with friends - daily work making gifts for friends and being with friends.
1/2 hour - evening study - reading now = relax & rejoice (yogi bhajan), yoga sutras (patanjali), light on yoga (b.k.s. iyengar), intro to tantra (lama yeshe), spiritual cannibalism (rudi), kundalini and the chakras (genevieve paulson), buddhism (steve hagen)
1/2 hour - evening process coaching work - daily journaling with the folks and keeping appointments from any triggers throughout the day.
1/2 hour - evening chores - cooking, baking, dishes, cleaning, laundry
1/2 hour - evening pranayama - breathing for balance and centeredness
diet - non-dairy vegetarian. no processed foods. no sugar.

love is unconditional  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

Cathy said today, "you know.. all this that you're doing, in the healing, will improve your relations, but you dont have to do any of it, you are still loved by the Universe, by the Folks, the Creators, no matter what you do."

judgment release  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

1. "I release the judgment that I must hate myself because I ____."
2. "I release the judgment that I am bad because I ____."
3. "I release the judgment that ____ is bad or wrong."
a) "I release the judgment that I am in fact ____." (about a state of being, like lazy, manipulative, etc.)
b) " I release the judgment that I am too_____." (too sensitive, too emotional, too....etc.)
c) "I release the judgment that I must continue to ____." (to do something you've done and don't want to do anymore)

i'm nurturing myself thru healing work  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

nurture = "the act of caring and encouraging the growth or development of"

embrace your newfound attraction to people that are warm, loving, and open. let go of your attraction to people that are critical of you or critical of themselves, outwardly or inwardly.

embrace your newfound attraction to people that are accepting. let go of your attraction to people that strongly judge you or themselves.

embrace your newfound attraction to loving yourself. let go of your attraction to torturing yourself.
a healthy ego protects the self

neediness is just feeling incomplete.  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

i'm listening to what's going on inside of me. at the turbulent surface my mind is churning millions of thoughts. but i'm swimming down. i'm deep in the ocean. it's still and quiet. this is the ocean of the eternal mother. it's all the love ever felt, past-present-future. i'm sitting quietly here. i pull down the situation from the surface. i ask myself, "what do you feel like you're not getting from this situation?" "why do you feel incomplete?" "what need is not being met in your life?" "your feelings are ok. you're expressing a real need." "who in you feels this?" "do you remember the 1st time you felt this?" i do any judgment release that i need to and then i practice 'reclaiming the past'. this transforms the situation from 'having' oriented to 'being' oriented. it takes the responsibility off of a loved one and gives it to my self.

i'm learning to give the love i need to myself. and get the love i need from myself.

communicate from the heart center  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

"some people think if they can argue, they can win. nobody can win with arguments. logic and reason is not the way of life. the other person is not interested in being convinced. when you try to convince somebody, somebody tries to get out of it. this is a normal reaction. if you relay from the heart center, you will always have victory with you." - Yogi Bhajan

i am guided by the heart of my discipline  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

i really related to something Katie told me yesterday. she said coming into the light of love is like coming up from under water, taking a deep breath, and opening your eyes. thats how i've felt. but then i go back down. and then i come back up. over and over.

the tibetan term generally translated as 'renunciation' has the literal meaning of 'definite emergence' - Lama Yeshe
i believe that not going back under the water requires a spiritual practice. because i might be able to be happy for a while, even a long time, and it might look like my life is different. but attachments are like seaweed wrapped around my legs. and the ocean of existence is full of these rope-like aquatic plants. they tangle us up. and a spiritual practice is just the work of untangling ourselves. like doing the dishes or the laundry, its just a chore. a lot of people make it into something else, they create false-change. some make it too personal and even create false-healing. soul-retrieval is often self-serving and too much of a game. and yoga can be self-cherishing and like wanting an expensive car. i ask, "am i here for myself or for my loved ones?" the difference is between existing as a person who is 'having' oriented and a person who is 'being' oriented. sometimes i think i'm 'being' but i'm really not. a common misunderstanding is asking, "am i getting something out of this?" a spiritual practice makes it clear. 'having' or 'getting' is empty. yoga is the core of my spiritual practice. there're many forms of yoga. some yoga is entirely internal. and to me just sitting in easy pose is really challenging. a spiritual practice is about healing and becoming whole. it usually begins with dissatisfaction and unhappiness, when the seaweed has you trapped and you think you're drowning. but thats also part of the circle of repetitive behavior, coming up from the water and going back under. confusing the two is how false-change is created. the key is to serve my loved ones thru the daily work of untangling myself and learning transformation, becoming a merman :) love is a duty. and serving my loved ones is the heart of my discipline.

sustaining my growth requires a spiritual practice.

what is my hidden and undeclared commitment?  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

when i'm blaming someone else, ask myself, "what am i getting out of blaming this person?" avoiding responsibility. denying my judgments, not seeing my manipulative and controlling patterns. etc.

i don't need to feel like i'm treated like i'm not good enough  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

what is the difference between anxiety and excitement?
what is the difference between desperation and courage?


Posted by Zimmerman Stein

"our presence is our purity." - Yogi Bhajan

i can take responsibility for my judgments. i can overcome my self.  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

i noticed the thoughts running thru my mind while i was walking downtown today, and i realized i've spent my life judging people. i've treated people very harshly. i was judging everyone that walked by! maybe those thoughts are always there. i've never paid attention before. i feel sick about it now. its not that the judgments are that horrible, though some are really mean. its that its just so disrespectful to view human creatures as small pieces of my projected self. instead of seeing others' lives, i see my guilt and my frustration creating opinions about others. people i know nothing about! though it changes when i talk to strangers. and i do love talking to them. but in my head, i tear tear them down. i make them into meaningless little objects. and i do this to my loved ones too! in my head, most of these thoughts stay unspoken, i make judgments about what they should be doing or how they should be acting. often i think they're not loving or they're selfish. i try to let the thoughts go as they come up. but its a river of judgment.  so sometimes i try to let them go later, but they're too easily forgotten by my conscious mind. and if i do speak my opinions, to take responsibility for them, i can feel the judgment just sitting there in the background, not really going anywhere. because i believe that i know how people should behave, the way that i believe i behave, i feel powerful judgments and severe criticisms. this is me not feeling good enough. this is me knowing that i'm not what i believe i am. i might as well speak these transferred judgments, because they exist the same either way. i will have to learn to do judgment release each time i take responsibility. i have to be careful, because since i've noticed what i'm doing, i'm being really harsh to myself. and i notice that i get very irritated by noise or traffic or standing in line or anything that gets in my way or even the cats sometimes. and i'm completely intolerant of others shortcomings, judging my loved ones as ignorant or slow or stupid or unimportant or backward. and i think i know everything. half of what i say is incorrect or confused or made up. i get the facts wrong more often than right.

my #1 judgments  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

"if you we're taking responsibility, then you'd..."
"you're not treating me how i deserve to be treated."
"you're not being honest. lying is deceptive and manipulative."
"that's the definition. look it up."
"you're judging me."

what is important?  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

"in this world, if we can only learn to respect the concerns of others, then we can have happiness." - Yogi Bhajan

what's not important?  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

whether i am or i'm not.
whether i do or i don't.
whether she is or she isn't.
whether she does or she doesn't.
whether i become or i don't become.
whether it happens or it doesn't happen.
whether i get it or i don't get it.
whether i have it or i don't have it.
whether i succeed or i don't succeed.
whether it works out how i want or it doesn't work out how i want.
whether i'm good or i'm not good.
whether i'm smart or i'm not smart.
whether i'm talented or i'm not talented.
whether i'm confident or i'm not confident.
whether i do it or i don't do it.
whether i'm loved or i'm not loved.

in the past i used to communicate to impress others  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

"did you ever learn that your existence is your communication? your projection is your relationship? you are the power? but life is often sour. there is no happiness, because your communication has no purpose of self. you communicate to impress someone. you don't communicate to relate you to someone. that's why you suffer now. you don't communicate consciously." - Yogi Bhajan

no one has a responsibility to be my friend  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

when i have a feeling of hurt, disappointment, disapproval, negativity, dislike, finding fault, looking down on someone, holding someone responsible, making someone wrong, judging someone in any way - then i have attachments. and i'm wanting someone to think of me instead of being free.

"communication and friendship is fitting a person in where they feel comfortable, not where you want to fit them or think they should go." - Yogi Bhajan

compassion is a fond appreciation for another creature  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

compassion is not just seeing thru another person's eyes, thru their living perspective. its also keeping yourself centered. i'm thinking of it as a heirarchy. 1st there's my real perspective that only comes from my center. 2nd there's grace, sort of a sense of fondness. 3rd there's a loved one's living perspective. i can't reach #3 without going thru #1 and #2. today compassion feels like there's a smile in me and there's love radiating out from me. compassion is a fond appreciation for someone else. if i feel like they're not doing what i want them to do, or if i think what they're doing isn't what i would do, or if it seems that their values aren't the same as my values, then i'm not appreciating their living perspective. it's a life, like a plant. its a unique creature. values and judgments are just a small piece. i can see more than a relationship. i can see the whole creature.

compassion melts judgment

the velveteen rabbit  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."


Posted by Zimmerman Stein

"i still believe kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and beautiful behavior are the basic gestures of the female." - Yogi Bhajan

everyone is a reflection of me  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

when i talk to someone, i'm actually talking to myself. if i'm angry to them, i'm actually being angry to myself. i can show my loved ones the compassion i show myself. and i can show them the responsibility i have for myself. i can show them what it is to have a deep, connected relationship to myself. talk to her the way you talk to yourself. free of manipulation. and too respectful to be controlling.

to love at all i must see out from another's living perspective  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

people are not things. i don't get rid of them like old stuff i don't want anymore. i don't treat them like puppets or toys that i get tired of, or put away, or as if they're insignificant or peripheral. my loved ones are the light of my life. and i honor each of them with every breath.

love is compassion. compassion is love.
"communication and friendship is fitting a person in where they feel comfortable, not where you want to fit them or think they should go." - Yogi Bhajan

honesty is god  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

its true that everyone is a reflection of me. and that what i judge in someone else is myself. the anger and hurt is me recognizing myself. and expressing my self-hatred is me criticizing someone else. others reflect me. when i judge others its because i have that judgment and disapproval of myself. i project my negative self-image onto others. i judge others according to how i judge myself.

everyone is free to decide their own values and their own path. free to live their lives however they choose, even if i hate it or think they're hurting themselves.

only offer help when it is requested. but then, when it is given, don't express opinions (judgments), even if they're agreed upon as true. there's no place for personal opinions (judgments) when helping someone. they're manipulative and controlling. it influences someone's beliefs about themselves or their beliefs about you or both.


Posted by Zimmerman Stein

I've felt incomplete. In the past.

i grew up in violence  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

love and fear - distorted feelings go from one to the other over and over with every heartbeat.

"guilt is a fear process where you truthfully believe that you have done something wrong. it is continuous, it is consistent with personality, and it is extremely destructive." - Yogi Bhajan

neediness is not life  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

i've had this puerile need to prove myself and my goal has been to get love in return. i've been seeking approval and validation. and especially from women who are emotionally unavailable, emotionally damaged, narcissistic, self-serving, irrational, controlling and manipulative, guided by guilt, burdened by self-hatred, filled with shame, dishonest, and not nurturing (nurture = the act of caring and encouraging the growth or development of). this has been my misunderstanding of beauty. and my misunderstanding of love. i've made myself desperate. its been an endless pattern going nowhere. and throughout the process i've exhibited and cultivated a mirror image of the women's negative attributes. and thwarted my growth and development, and hers.

"in your own depth, you have nothing to be afraid of. there is no danger. your strength is in your own self-depth." - Yogi Bhajan


Posted by Zimmerman Stein

"push only towards god and universality because that is where you have to go and where you are going. that will create harmony." - Yogi Bhajan

keep going (when you want to stop is exactly when you don't stop!)  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

"even when it gets hard to do, thats exactly where you want to be. you want it to get hard. you want it to get challenging. and then you go through that challenge to the other side. you go to your edge, you pass your edge, and then you're able to live in that space in your life. you know that when the going gets rough, you'll be able to keep up."
blaming others is denying life (truth, power, radiance, & love)


Posted by Zimmerman Stein

my healthy ego gets 50% of my self-esteem inernally and 50% from the sum total of all my external relationships.


Posted by Zimmerman Stein

"a meditative mind will tell you what to do, why to do it, where to do it, the whole thing, right there on the spot. there is nothing unknown, you know the known. what is the will of god? it is the gift of the mind." - Yogi Bhajan

deity yoga meditation  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

1,000 arm light being meditation  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

loved one, enemy, stranger meditation  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

selfishness or dedication to others  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

"while were cultivating love, compassion, wisdom, and all the other insights, we can be helping others continuously. living a simple life with a heart dedicated to overcoming self-cherishing, we automatically benefit others." - Lama Yeshe


Posted by Zimmerman Stein

my true centeredness is equal to my true compassion  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

i look outwards, i try to help my friends, i try to be there for them. i've thought of this as compassion. if i feel that they love me, then i feel better about myself. i forget my center. i barely exist - until i don't get what i want or i feel disrespected. then i get hurt or angry. then i disrespect them with judgment and blame, spoken and unspoken. then i attempt to manipulate and control them.


Posted by Zimmerman Stein

"its not the yoga that you do, its the courage that you bring to your yoga practice."

becoming and what became  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

the germanic norns spin the threads of fate and the greek moirae control the threads of fate.

communicate consciously - communication is being

unalienated activity  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

i'm learning to function as a whole person from a state of inner completeness, a state of being.

judgment is attachment

who am i?  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

i see that i'm dependent and needy but i think that i'm loving and loyal.
i see that i'm vain and narcissistic but i think that i'm kind and helpful.
i see that i get satisfaction from causing pain but i think that i've done what is good for someone.
i see that i'm destructive but i think that its my sense of justice and that the punishment is helpful.
i see that i'm afraid and a coward but i think that i'm realistic and using good judgment.
i see that i'm arrogant but i think that i'm extremely humble.
i see that i'm afraid of freedom but i think that i don't want to hurt anyone.
i see that i'm insincere but i think that i'm polite and kind.
i see that i'm deceptive and betraying but i think that i'm objective and honest.


Posted by Zimmerman Stein

i can't help dishonest or deluded loved ones unless they ask for help. to do so would be controlling, manipulative, and dishonest on my part.

i can let go of the ones i love, they can ask for help

poke - provoke - confront - elevate  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

"people who are not honest in their communication shall never be happy. and they will not be healthy because unhappiness will tax their health." - Yogi Bajhan
projecting my anxiety, fears, and frustrations onto my loved ones is a dishonest existence

i see only my face in the black water  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

when i get angry at someone else, the judgment, that makes me freak out, is actually a reflection of my polluted self. and it has nothing to do with the other person. i'm using them to avoid confronting my self. like the feeling of being betrayed or lied to comes up when i'm not being honest with someone. and even if the lie is real, the meaning of it is not. its distorted to serve me feeling hurt.

maya is an illusion, a veiling of the true unitary self - the cosmic spirit


Posted by Zimmerman Stein

i'm overwhelmed by fear, hurt, and sadness. i'm flooded with shame. my shoreline is overcome. my walls have all come down. my things are washed away. there's nothing that seperates me from an ocean of deep sadness and dark shame. i'm adrift. i'm drowned. i'm dead. i'm part of it all. the shame. the sadness. the regret. the confusion. the pain. the longing. the sharp deaths. the blood. the rivers. the big waters. the limitless waters. the horizon. the water. the fishes. the debris. drifting. floating. mysterious. dark water. night. biting fish. dead body. dead flesh. drifting. infinite. nothing. no one. night.

surrender to the destruction inside

one minute of peace each day  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

"take one minute a day to be yourself, to breathe one breath a minute, to love yourself, to feel you are divine. in that one minute feel peace within yourself, feel peace with everybody. if we take judging ourselves and others out of our life, we will mostly be living in paradise." - Yogi Bhajan

let there be peace in me  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

"that in whom reside all beings and who resides in all beings, who is the giver of grace to all, the supreme soul of the universe, the limitless being - i am that." - Amritbindu Upanishad

there is no victim and there is no perpetrator  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

hurt is self-created and serves to control me. it reinforces limiting patterns that keep me from being alive. its part of my story. its an old story.

transform feeling like a victim into feeling compassion

denying feelings is denying life  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

if i cut off anger i cut off passion.
if i cut off anxiety i cut off acceptance.
if i cut off fear i cut off courage.
if i cut off hurt i cut off understanding.
if i cut off grief i cut off love.

"thats it, i'm DONE!" - when i think i've reached my limit, my cutoff point, i know that growth is at my doorstep. but blame, guilt, and judgment are locking and barricading the door. this is a reaction. this is denial in action. this is irresponsibility. i can take responsibility for my triggers without blaming others. i can create healthy boundaries without acting like a victim. boundaries are my responsibility. not the responsibility of the people i love.

commitment and love are LIMITLESS

what do you do when you love someone and they dont love you back?  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

what do you do when you feel hurt because someone says they love you, but they dont treat you that way? when it happens over and over again. and you keep taking responsibility for your feelings and judgments, but the same feelings and judgments keep coming up each time?

let go. you're attached - practice detachment. surrender. you're dependent - be open to new friends.

my purpose in this life is to love you  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

my purpose in this life is to love you

my purpose in this life is to love you

listen to your brain wearing down your spirit  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

the running stream of thoughts is controlling you. its manipulating you. its creating distorted facts, false realities, and reactions. the feelings you are experiencing right now are not true. they've been created and distorted by your mind. they're lies. wake up now. this is darkness, but you're alive!



Posted by Zimmerman Stein

give the people you love- give them back their lives. give them freedom. give them your real love. give them your care. give them your devotion. give them your life. serve the ones you love with your being. give up control. give up identity. give up selfishness. give up independence. you belong. you are of them. there is no need. there is no fear. there is no you. surrender your will. be in practice. be in love. be in honesty. be in yoga. be in the breath. be in now.

being is detachment

if not now, then when?  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

when are you going to surrender? when are you really going to put down the way of control and manipulation?
its time now. let go. let it all go. the bad, the good, the worst, the best, the in-between, just let it all go. surrender everything. surrender ego. surrender identity. experience the freedom of being in the flow of life.

respond or react  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

respect is the ability to see another person as they are. respect means the concern that the other person should grow and unfold as she is. manipulating someone, getting them to do what i want them to do, transforms that person into a thing. a possession.

loving is actively being concerned for the life of that which we love.

be direct, innocent, and graceful  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

practicing letting go - practicing detachment - practicing no judgment - practicing unconditional loving

practicing being


Posted by Zimmerman Stein

petty defensiveness and arguing takes place outside of my center. but deep hurt and strong anger seems to come from the core of my being.

i've noticed that i'm more irritable when i haven't eaten, and my body carries more stress, so i'm eating less to stay conscious of these feelings and doing more yoga to alleviate the stress.

seeing the real you  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

behind my spirituality, behind my healing, behind my honesty, behind me being: is another part of me orchestrating, manipulating and lying to me. and as long as it all goes well, like when i'm happy, i barely know its happening at all. and anyway it seems so insignificant relative to the positive change happening and the growth i'm experiencing. but when things don't go how i want them to, or when i don't get my way, then i see the real me that's actually always there behind the curtain controlling things. i see the angry, hurt, manipulative, controlling, self-centered, judgmental person making plans and pretending to be real. so i want to be happy and not have to deal with this part of myself. but the more that i see this self when i'm hurt or angry, the more i can see it when i'm not feeling hurt or angry. this aspect of myself, some refer to the ego, is always running the show. always manipulating me and others, whether i am happy and feeling good, or trying and struggling, or sad and hurt, or strong and angry. so have a relationship with myself. and work with myself. include the wizard when i'm washing dishes. include the wizard when i'm talking to a friend. a new honesty. a new level of health and acceptance. be patient.

happiness keeps me from being  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

every day i work to let go of judgments and distorted feelings because i want to be happy. i want to feel better. and i want to be a loving person. but this is exactly what keeps me from really being alive. because happiness is an illusion- not in a mysterious buddhist sense, but in a simple, real sense- happiness is a small part of life. happiness doesn't include all of being. feelings aren't all happy. life isn't made to be happy. being real is not about being happy. being a loving person is about caring for yourself while being deeply connected, committed, and compassionate. being a loving person is about letting go of judgments and overcoming resistance. being a loving person is about unconditional love.

i accept all of my feelings just as i am  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

when i avoid or 'change' my life because of feelings, i'm essentially denying those feelings. feelings are natural and loving. judging feelings creates a feeling of need. and judging life because of my feelings creates feelings of need (a desire to alter reality). its this judgment connected to the feeling that distorts my perception of the feeling and attaches the result to me. when i release the judgment, then i see the feeling for what it is. i see the hurt, the pain, and the anger in perspective. and it is less that i'm hurting or angry and more that i have to avoid feeling unlovable. i feel powerfully that i need to do something to 'change' reality, to protect myself from the protruding judgment that i'm bad or unlovable. I do this to myself and so do the people that i love. i dont want to feel unlovable or bad. i dont want it confirmed. these are the deep roots of judgment.

compassion melts judgments  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

reactions are pre-existing judgments producing strong feelings in the moment. they're part of my narcissistic self. rejecting someone's behavior, thoughts, or feelings is a reaction, a judgment. its me acting controlling and manipulative.

my inner center  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

beyond conflict - beyond judgments - beyond narcissism -
place of being - place of compassion - place of life -
self but not selfish - being of service but not responsible for others -
life starts here at the center and radiates outward. there is no need. there is no dependence. there is no taking care of another. there is I. one among many.

practicing the art  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

quiet discipline - concentration - patience - breath - awareness of presence -
an expression of the internal - a relaxed focus of the center - I am the creator.
this is practiced with intention alone twice a day and always when i'm with others.

I am the creator.

practicing a sense of continuity  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

mindstream - sit with the eternal series of momentary consciousnesses, independent of physical processes - eternal flux - continuity of practice - 10,000 rising and falling breaths of consciousness - impermanence - continually letting go - practicing detachment - practicing deep surrender - long deep breathing

inner smile  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

one of the 4 pillars of kundalini

the rainbow bridge (antahkarana)  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

7 layers of being (chakras) that connect earth-mother (shakti) energy to sky-father (shiva) energy.


Posted by Zimmerman Stein

deep detachment is deep surrender and being absolutely present. its total involvment in a relationship while practicing the ability to continuously let go of judgments as they come up and staying in a compassionate realm (responsibility), deeply listening to and accepting another while fully experiencing and accepting my inner-self.

fake detachment is judging another person's behavior, thoughts, or feelings but not saying anything about it. and acting like you're loving while keeping your "spiritual" space.

feelings are made to be felt. feelings are energy. feelings are life. feelings are being. feelings flow thru me.

judgment attaches feelings to the body.

judgment release  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

  • 1. "I release the judgment that (person's name) is bad because she____"
  • 2. "I release the judgment that ____ is bad or wrong."
  • 3. "I release the judgment that (person's name) in fact ____"

any judgment creates a reality  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

when i think something is so, it becomes so. either because i have created the exact space for it to become reality in a relationship or in another person, or because i have reinforced that judgment of reality in such a way as to make it so for the other person. and if they resist or dont agree with my judgment of reality, my opinion creates the opposite reality in them (which is the same) or a denial of my reality in them (which is the same). and often it inspires guilt in their heart. since most of these self-serving/self-avoiding judgments are critical or negative (guilt/blame). and it doesnt matter how justified or accurate i am. it doesnt matter how honest i am. it doesnt matter how right i am.

judgment is judgment. and judgment creates a repetitive locked reality pattern.

to have or to be  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

to have or not to have are the same thing: pretend letting go.
having can be things or people or ideas or feelings.
having things like: freedom, self-expression, peace of mind, choice, happiness, strength, health, love, clarity, simplicity, understanding, honesty, self-respect, generosity, compassion.
wanting that stuff is attachment, not being. i see how i'm really being when that stuff is threatened or not respected or taken advantage of or pushed to the limit or abused.

being is unlimited and unconditional


Posted by Zimmerman Stein in , , , , , , , , , , , ,

acceptance is not about fairness.

acceptance is %100 responsibility.
acceptance does not judge.
acceptance means absolutely no opinions about another:
what comes up for me - this thing you do - the way you are - you know how you are - it's not bad, it's just something you do - i know you better than you know yourself - are you being authentic - i sense some dishonesty - i believe this - why would you do that - you should do this - you shouldn't be that way - anyone would feel like i do - i need to stand up for myself - you're taking advantage of me - you're not being fair - you're controlling - i feel manipulated - i need to be free - you don't let me be myself - i need to express myself - you make me feel this way - you need to change - you're not hearing me - you dont listen - i cant communicate with you - you need to take responsibility

love is a duty  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

"to grow spiritually a man must learn to overcome his emotional blocks. guilt is an experience of the lower level of life - the earth level. as a man rises, this garbage falls from him and becomes the fertilizer which feeds the seed within - the consciousness he seeks. the beautiful lotus rests upon the water: the roots are sunk in the scum and slime at the bottom of the lake. as a man grows and surrenders completely, his lower self falls away to the bottom of the lake and feeds the roots of his consciousness.
another spiritual block is the combination of self-pity and fear which is just a manifestation of resistance to working deeper. external matters are important only insofar as they are a means for encompassing that end.

as the consciousness within a man grows, he must be aware of the life and death cycle that accompanies moving from level to level. as you move up, you grow and shed the dead part, much as a healthy flower or plant sheds its dead leaves and forms new ones.
once a man has begun the process of spiritual growth, it should be a continuous flow within him. it is his duty to keep this mechanism free so the process can continue. anything which stops this is to be surrendered. speaking the surrender is a step in developing a spiritual mechanism." - Rudi

pitiful/judgmental or loving  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein in , , , , , , , , ,

pity is a poor substitute for love.
responsibility is grounded.
but there's more to love.
compassion is the other half.
victim or hurt is quick.
judgement is quick.
judgments come up attached to feelings.
judgment is blame.
compassion is slow.
responsibility is metered.

30-day personal intensive  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein

1. consistency in practice
Kundalini Sadhana (Mon-Fri 5:00-7:00am - Sat-Sun 6:00-8:00am)
Seva (Mon-Fri 7:00-7:30am - Sat-Sun 8:00-8:30am)
1/2 hour breathing work
1/2 hour breathing work
RudraFlo (Sun-Thu 9:00-9:30pm - Fri-Sat 10:00-10:30pm)
2. supportive diet
3 healthy meals each day + snacks (fruit)
3. working/resting/creating
- blog
- journal
- reading
- chakra study
- study groups (men's group, yoga teachings)
- regular sleep schedule
- creative writing
4. daily body conditioning and healing work
- 30 minute brisk walk
- run
- hatha yoga 3 times each week
- process coaching work
- chakra healing work
5. supportive relationships
- daily check ins
- conserve energy, plug the holes, 9 secrets
- be Karma free
- be of service

feel the feelings  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein in , , , , , , , , , ,

"the easiest way to deal with feelings infected with guilt has been to deny the feelings. for many of us this has been crucial to maintaining self-esteem and keeping our optimism high enough to go on with life. the problem with this is that denied feelings don't go away, they submerge and stay unconscious. this creates an opening for the split off parts of us (that experienced the feelings and are now unconscious) to repeat destructive or unwanted patterns of behavior.

denial is only a coping mechanism. real healing can come only when the feelings are felt and the guilt is confronted and removed. although the suggested practice that follows is very easy to do, it can facilitate very deep healing..."

1. "I release the judgment that I must hate myself because I ____"
2. "I release the judgment that I am bad because I ____"
3. "I release the judgment that ____ is bad or wrong."
4. "I release the judgment that I am in fact ____"

we're all innocent.

hoarding & pretend letting go  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein in , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

hoarding feelings and pretend letting go are the same thing. just like you can get rid of stuff all the time without actually letting go of stuff. "out of sight out of mind" is the same as "sweeping it under the rug."

at first it seems like a guage might be to ask myself, "how attached am i to the stuff i won't get rid of?" except that if i'm getting rid of stuff without actually letting go, then my answer is a lie.

actually letting go does not happen without acknowledging my attachment to the stuff and does not happen without love. sometimes the stuff might want to stay. acceptance is unconditional. i am not the judge. accepting my relationship to feelings is healing and growth. everything else is about controlling my life and my world. and there's no love there. and no honesty.

all things in my life are love.

helping my friends does not include judging them  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein in , , , , , , , , , , , ,

i notice that when someone asks for help i do two things:

1. i praise them and help them connect to the work they're doing. i help them find joy and strength by acknowledging their deep commitment to growing and being authentic. i affirm life as i see it.
2. i put my long held judgments into the conversation. my opinions find a place. i express my buried feelings or judgments in a seemingly helpful way. i judge, make right and wrong, the people i'm committed to help.

be for real  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

being nice and feeling sweet is a fake happiness.

a healthy diet is not based on honey or sugar.
when i act this way it is to avoid reality, to avoid real life.
it is distraction and not authentic.
it's a way of holding on and hoarding all the stuff i don't want to feel.
it is a way of controlling myself and the people around me. it pushes down and denies life.
my anger builds and is stored in this way. hidden anger that is revealed in violent outbursts.
my criticism of others is evidence of this denied anger.

being real is being present to my feelings and others feelings without judgment.
it seems brave and daring to me, but that's because i believe that i fear feelings and judgments.

Yogi Bhajan - "be direct, innocent, and graceful."

unconditional love is a healthy mind  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein in , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

unconditional love doesn't judge.

unconditional love is acceptance.
unconditional love doesn't help another person grow.
unconditional love is supportive and encouraging.
unconditional love doesn't try to improve or fix a relationship.
unconditional love sees the relationship as unique and ok as is.

honesty formed out of judgments is still pollution.
it looks like caring, but it's really a form of control.
i might want to help a friend, but only use supportive thoughts.

judgments are pollution  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein in , , , , , , ,

i saw the clear mind today. the responsible mind. the peaceful mind. the clear mind.

and as my thoughts drifted in, i saw the judgments like ink being poured into clear water.
they rolled in like a tiny compact cloud front, with visible edges that looked like rolling organic shapes.
every motion, every bit of the flow of the ink into the water is a multitude of judgments.
most are so small they aren't even named. thoughts beyond the conscious mind.
i see the thoughts that have the most force, but there are so many beyond it that i can't see.
choice seems to be dump this pollution here or not. because clean-up is beyond our abilities.
like an oil spill in the ocean, there's nearly total ruin and death.
decimation, like wrecking an entire ecosystem of healthy organisms.
like candida wrecks the immune system.
judgments are pollution.
and after they're dumped into the clear mind, and they're mixed together for a while,
eventually it becomes a stagnant hazy cloud. no edges, just a polluted grey.

chakra clearing yoga  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein in , , , , , , , ,

root - anger - cultivate kindness
sex - neediness (hoarding) - cultivate generosity
navel - ignorance - cultivate wisdom
heart - jealousy - cultivate compassion
throat - excessive pride -
3rd eye -
crown - laziness/sloth - cultivate action, on point

unconditional love is a healthy mind  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

taking things personally is the opposite of unconditional love.

i want to be loved unconditionally.

acceptance is non-attachment.

letting go means letting go of all attachment - not just letting go of hurt and anger and negatives, but also positives like hope and desire and passion and love itself.

unconditional love is exactly how i would like to be treated.

taking responsibility means anytime that i judge, every time! that i judge, i take responsibility for it.

don't ask others to clean up their act or be better friends. and if i do, then take responsibility. watch for this when feeling hurt or angry or judgmental.

i can ask for time to express my feelings or i can even ask to express my judgments. but expecting it as a right, demanding it, is blame (guilt turned outward against the people that i love).

all expectation is a form of attachment.

all taking things personally, all getting hurt is a form of attachment.

all right and wrong (judgment) is a form of attachment.

there is no love in attachment.

non-violence is complete surrender and total acceptance.

when i feel hurt or angry  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

when I feel absolutely right and justified in my anger or hurt.
when I feel driven to be heard.
when I don't see choices anymore.
that's the time when I need to have compassion.
that's when I need to listen.
that's when I need to put myself in the other person's place.
because that's when I hurt someone's feelings or hear their feelings.
that's when I try to force someone to listen or listen to them.
that's when I demand that someone change or accept them and get to know them better.
that's when I try to take away someone's freedom or support their happiness.
when I feel hurt or angry.

that's when I can choose to show the love in my heart.
that's when I can choose to be compassionate.

the struggle for power and control has dominated my heart and betrayed love for the last time.

judgment release  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein in , , ,

1. "I release the judgment that I must hate myself because I ____"
2. "I release the judgment that I am bad because I ____"
3. "I release the judgment that ____ is bad or wrong."
4. "I release the judgment that I am in fact ____"

The effects of judgment release are often subtle at first, but always cumulative.

guilt & blame  

Posted by Zimmerman Stein in , , ,

guilt and blame are a continuum. when it is in us, it is guilt. when it is in someone else, it is blame. guilt we feel impossible to own ourselves becomes blame when it is projected out onto another. releasing judgments against others (blame) is just as liberating as releasing them against ourselves. just say, "i release the judgment that (person's name) is bad because they ..." and "i release the judgment that ... is bad or wrong." either way, guilt or blame, it's ours to release.